Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
