remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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