no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize