i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
