Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
