I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
