Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
