so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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