he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
