oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize