when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
