I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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