went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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