oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize