I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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