soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize