Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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