I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
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