He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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