Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize