can u get pink eye on your cock?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize