Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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