yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
