kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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