My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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