We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
