My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
