I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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