I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
