My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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