She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
