WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
