When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
