Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
your penis
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
