I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
