id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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