either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
