evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
smell my finger.
This house was built for laser tag.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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