I don't think brook has ever known best
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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