we have officially lost it.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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