What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize