i don't like sucking hair
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
