Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
