You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
