woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
