Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
