Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
