just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize