i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
