watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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