okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
