I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
