So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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