At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize