p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
