His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
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