so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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