he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
